If he REALLY wants to attract attention, how about John puts out a single version of "Underpass" rewritten as "Underpants" using the lyrics Mrs X and I conjured up on the EV forum a few years back....
"Standing in the shop
Stroking my thighs
Lifting up the Y-fronts
Nothing in my size
Underpants!
Underpants!
Well, I used to wear boxers
Now they're all worn
Wasn't it some...thing...
They warmed somebody's bum
Underpants!
Underpants!
Scouring through the britches
I think I like those
They're comfy at the same...time...
Leg, leg, bum
Underpants!
Underpants!
Snuggly on my ass now
Crumpled on the floor
They'll last for years...now...
Leg, leg, bum
Leg, leg, bum
Leg, leg, bum
Leg, leg, bum
Leg, leg...
Underpants!
Underpants!
Underpants!
Underpants!
(repeat to fade)